


Just a little bit chemistry

by Ismere



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst but not too much, Curses, First Love, Fluff, M/M, probably smut I don't know yet, unrequired crushes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-23 12:27:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12507408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ismere/pseuds/Ismere
Summary: Jae Park: 25 years, works on a music shop, loves romantic cheesy movies and believes there's someone out there for him. His other half. Has a huge crush with Mark Tuan, a famous actor and vlogger from LA.Brian Kang: 25 years. Jae's bestfriend. Works as an assistant in a psychologist clinic. Went to Toronto to study. Hates anything related to love, for him, love is just a chemical reaction on human body, something pointless.Mark Tuan: 26 years. Famous practically since he was born. Doesn't know how to deal with feelings and thinks money can solve any problem.Or the AU where Jae thinks he's in love with a celebrity and Brian denies all his feelings.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> As I said last time, forgive my grammar. This wont be too long, I think.
> 
> Is based on a Spanish movie called "Solo Química" and I used the original soundtrack playlist. -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lsx-dckDa3c&list=PLLqW84PYBTcgSWUnI9bwoZBn0oI0oWVlV here's the link if someone wants to listen. Of course, this ones are in spanish.
> 
> This one is short because is just a prologue. Pay attention to dates, are midly important, because I'll be jumping some days, weeks, and even months.
> 
> If you wanna yell at me, you can find me on @jeahyungsmole on twt or @jeahyungsmole on cc. Thanks for reading!

**Prologue: Just a little bit Chemistry.**

**26/08/2012 — Los Angeles, California**

Sunday night, Jae Park is on the airport, waiting for the woman voice to call the next plane to Canada, he’s trembling inside, finally having a chance to say goodbye. This night is special for him, his best friend finally going to study Psychology to Toronto’s university. He’s trying very bad not to look sad, not to look like he’s losing his best support from years. Highschool is finally over, and both of them knew this moment will come soon of after. He’s ready.

_“Passengers from fly 365, destiny Toronto, please, go to boarding gate”_

There it is, that voice pointing it. He’s going to go now, no more space to goodbyes. Brian looks at him and smirks. Jae knows he’s trying to look way less exited than he is.

“Well, it’s time” he says, getting up from the uncomfortable airport chair. “Don’t look at me like that, it’s gonna be ok”

“Just. Be careful. And remember me”

“You’re my bestfriend, Jae. I won’t forget that”

Jae can’t help to give him a huge hug, containing tears. Brian responds to the hug immediately, caressing his back. He’s going to miss it, the soft touch and how safe he feels everytime Brian Kang is around.

Again, this crazy feeling bubbles in his stomach when he looks his bestfriend in the eyes, telling him to do something, Jae doesn’t know what is it, and just lets it go. Brian finally broke the closeness and takes his hand bags. And goes. And when Jae knows he won’t see him he starts crying, going back to the streets to call a taxi.

When he’s finally alone, at home, is the exact moment he realizes what was that sooner feeling he had on the airport. He wanted to kiss Brian goodbye, he wanted to say _‘I love you’_. Now is too late.


	2. New Sensations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian just can't deal with this love bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I finished this first chapter yesterday but i wanted to fix some things. Hope y'all like it!

**26/10/2017 — Los Angeles, California. 5 years and two months later.**

“Jae, don’t you dare”

“You lost the bet, I won. I choose the movie”

“But I thought you were my bestfriend”

“Not when it comes to cinema taste”

Brian groans loudly and sits on the couch, staring at Jae. He just went out of his work on a clinic and now wants to rest and maybe eat something, but last week he lost a bet against Jae and now he’s forcing him to watch The notebook once again. At least, is not Mamma Mia (even if he likes the way Jae sings to every song in this world). 

Lights off, movie starts and Brian knows Jae had memorized every single word of that movie. He just likes this cliché romantic movies where you know exactly what is going to happen but it doesn’t matter because ‘love is the point of the movie’ Jae said.

Brian doesn’t believe in love. He didn’t before studying Psychology, his parents getting divorced and hating each other forever and calling each other ‘the worst mistake of their life’ didn’t helped at all, but after getting his degree, Brian learnt that love is just a chemistry reaction on the body, just a passing instinct dominating your conscience and asking you to do stupid things for another person. Love is pointless, and he hates everything love-related. 

Jae Park, on his side, is the most romantic, cheesy and carefree person he ever met before. Jae loves love, loves cliché dates and low lights, and moonlight confessions. Jae waits to found this ‘special someone’ one day, his other half, the perfect person to him. Someone who loves him more than anything in this world. Jae Park is convinced that true love exist in this world, that destiny is a thing marked by a ‘someone’. 

It doesn’t matter how much they argued before about this, Brian knows is pointless too trying to make Jae come to his senses. So now, love theme is a taboo thing in their relationship.

Few hours later the movie finally finish and Jae has his head on Brian shoulder. This kind of gestures are normal between them, being best friends since highschool and living together since Brian came back from Canada had made things less awkward between them. 

Brian thought five years of separation would make their relationship break into pieces, but when he came back Jae was waiting for him on the airport looking pretty much the same. Taller, definitely, blonder and prettier. His squared metallic glasses and his long spacious hoodies with ripped thin black jeans. But the basics (the way he smiled, his worried expression, the way he hugs Brian everytime he has the chance) were exactly the same.

With a heavy difference.

Now, Jae Park is in love.

Well, Brian refuses to call it love, because is just a dumb one sided crush with a superstar named Mark Tuan. Mark is a popular vlogger and actor from LA with millions of followers. And yes, Jae may be gorgeous, but he’s just a boy who works on a music store and sometimes teaches personal defense. They probably won’t have anything in common, which proves his theory; love’s just a fantasy, a social construct based on some weird chemistry from their bodies.

Jae stretched like a cat, then stood up and went to the kitchen, probably to make some dinner. Brian stared at his clock, nine pm. Time to shower and maybe help Jae a little bit. Normal day on the house. 

And he didn’t want changes, he likes this routine. 

**30/10/2017 Los Angeles — California.**

Jae was walking by the street, making some errands and thinking about his life. Is a sunny hot morning in LA, streets full of people laughing about the last rumors of Superstars. California is the place of dreams, the place where everyone wishes to be famous. And LA is the center of this culture, always dreaming with the possibility of meeting your favorite stars.

He’s down to earth, realism resounding on his head with Brian’s voice. ‘Those people aren’t like us, Jae. They don’t eat freeze pizzas from Walmart or go to public cinemas, those people are part of a privileged minority who can allow themselves a private cinema on their own houses’.

And he’s right, but his mind is travelling again to Mark Tuan’s face, his heart skipping some beatings, his blood getting hotter, faster, his stomach bubbling. He couldn’t avoid to smile again, knowing those feelings very well. He’s sure, he’s in love with Mark Tuan. It doesn’t matter what Brian says because Brian doesn’t know shit about love. He bites his lower lip and starts walking again, returning again to his reality. Is late and has to go back to work.

In the store there’s always this calm mood, people going in and out, asking Jae if someone famous bought a guitar there, he smiling and attending everyone, always ready to speak about his love for music, for creating music. Every instrument is like a son for him, knows everything perfectly and works really hard. His boss adores him, well. Everyone who knows Jae adores him. Is just hard not to love his dreamy smile and his crazy ideas. 

Suddenly, while he’s placing some new instruments, someone enters into the store. He turns to face his new client. Time stops at this very moment when he sees Mar Tuan’s face in front of him, smiling softly.

“Oh God”

“Please… Please, don’t”

Jae takes the message and does the impossible for not screaming and running like a headless chicken. Well, is just his favorite actor and idol forever and he thinks he’s in love with him, totally normal day in his life.

“How can I help you, sir?” He asks finally, smiling again. At least, the enemy is on his field, so he had a little bit of control on the situation.

“Well, I want… something. For a friend. He likes music, composing. And I totally forgot about his birthday so at least I need something good enough to say sorry”

“Oh. He likes composing? What about a piano, then?”

“Yes. That would be awesome”

So, Jae starts doing his job, which is convince people that the expensive shit is better than the cheap one, even if the characteristics are the same and is just a label thing. That’s how his work goes. But this time, Jae takes his time to explain Mark why some are better than others, labels, chords etc. Mark just listens to him, looking at the instruments, nodding and from time to time, staring at Jae.

Then, they talked about guitars, music, movies and some other things. Mark is nicer than anyone could thought. And both of them have a lot of things in common. 

“So… Which one?”

“Well, I would buy this one” Jae said, pointing at one of the pianos and looking at the boy again.

“Didn’t anyone told you how beautiful you look when you’re talking about the things you love?” Mark said. Jae blushed instantly, looking at him with some disbelief stare.

“Is this a hidden camera or something?”

“No. Just me. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to make you feel weird”

“I mean… no. You didn’t. Is just… no. Nobody told me before”

“Then I am the first one?”

“Yes. Probably.”

“Are you into guys?”

“Yes?”

“Do you wanna hang out or something one of this days?”

“Sure”

When Mark asks for his number, Jae stills feeling weird, unable to believe Mark Tuan just asked for his number, just told him he looks beautiful, just asked him to go out on a date. He’s trembling when the boy leaves the store, in shock. 

The rest of the day pass normally, but Jae can’t avoid feel like walking on clouds. When he arrives home, Brian is making dinner. He let his things and goes to the bathroom, takes a shower and goes back to the living room.

“Mark Tuan asked for my number”

“What?” Bran says, confused.

“Mark Tuan asked for my number! And he told me I’m beautiful! Fuck, fuck, Brian. This is the fucking best day of my life. Shit”

“Can you… I don’t know, explain yourself?”

“I saw Mark Tuan today at the store. He was looking for a present, and suddenly, while he was paying, he told me I look beautiful and asked for my number to hang out some day. And, of course, I’ve said yes!”

“Are you crazy? Jae, you don’t know that guy”

“Listen, he was nice and polite. I just… Shouldn’t you be happy for me?”

“I’m just worried. Is okay to have a crush for a celebrity, but actually dating him? That’s crazy.”

“Is not just a crush, Brian”

“Please, not this again. Jae, you can’t love someone you don’t know”.

“If I had to listen to you I shouldn’t love anyone because love is a lie. Don’t be a hypocrite, Brian. This is my decision and I would be glad if my best friend supports me on this.”

“I can’t Jae. Is just stupid and childish”

“Listen. Fuck you. I don’t know why I’ve told you this. Just, forget about it”

Jae went to his room, and Brian suddenly felt something inside of him. Regret. And something else. Something he couldn’t identify. Is obvious, he doesn’t like the idea of Jae thinking he’s in love with someone he doesn’t know. He doesn’t like the idea of Jae loving anyone, because he’s fragile, he’s careless, he’s ready to give his all for the person he loves, and he could end being hurt. Brian is just worried because his bestfriend is a dumbass. Just that. And he won’t apologize for being sincere.

Jae is in his room, lying in the bed, staring at the ceiling. He wonders why Brian always hated the idea of being in love. He wonders why he is that convinced that love doesn’t exist. 

He wonders, finally, if he did well giving his number to a completely unknown. But Mark Tuan isn’t just an unknown person in his life. How many people in this world would kill for a chance like the one Jae had? A lot. Millions. Celebrities doesn’t fall for their fans usually, because they belong to a different world. Mark belongs to the clouds and Jae to the earth. But, couldn’t love jump those differences? Is Brian right? Is just attraction? Chemistry?

He shakes his head and smiles softly. Brian may be an asshole without feelings, but he’s his bestfriend. Brian would never hurt him, is the only constant in his life. He knows Brian. 

Someone knocks on his door and he smiles again. Opens and found Brian with puppy eyes and some pizza on his hand. He laughs and let him pass, sitting on the bed. 

“I’m sorry, Jae”

“I know. I am too. Don’t worry, I’m a grown boy with a karate black belt and you’re not my dad”

“I know, I know. Pizza?”

“Sure”

“You know, I met someone famous today on the clinic too”

“Did you?”

“Yes, but I can’t tell you because professional secret”

“Dirty cheater”

Both of them laugh, the fight long forgotten. Is just like this between them, nothing is more important than their friendship, nothing. Without the other, Jae and Brian would be completely alone in a huge world. Even when Brian was in Canada skype was Jae’s way to tell he always was there, sharing their precious moments together. Five years later, it feels like nothing had changed between them. The bubbly feeling and the sparks everytime they touch. None of them being able to recognize loud voice those sensations.

Now, Jae is in love and Brian doesn’t believe in love. Jae just assumed some Toronto’s girl broke his heart and he will finally stop this chemistry bullshit when he finds another girl on LA. Brian just assumed Jae will stop someday this bullshit of being in love with a celebrity and realize that Brian was right all the time. Love doesn’t exist.

Music is soft on Jae’s room, Brian caught off guard by this jealousy beating him hard, he doesn’t want to lose his bestfriend, this special bond between them remains untouched after years and some relationships. Even when Brian knows everything about him, he wants to be the only one in his life. Brian thinks anyone ever will be enough to Jae Park, even if that someone is his biggest crush and seems to be nice. No. Jae Park is special, he’s the kind of person that everyone wants on his life. Nice counselor, nice friend, always smiling, never talking about his problems, always listening, being assertive to his feelings. 

His skin is soft, his laugh is like music, and he, indeed, looks gorgeous when he talks about the things he loves the most. His passion about music, his smooth voice, his long fingers caressing the chords of his guitar, creating magic. Brian always encouraged him to pursue his dream, but Jae never dared, feeling not good enough. Jae’s music had always been a secret between the two of them. 

“So… You’re mad?”

“No. I’m just… worried. I don’t want anyone to hurt you, Jae”

“Brian, someday you’re going to fall in love and you will understand this. Pain is just something related to love”

“I don’t think so. Pain is something bad, just as bad as love”

“Why? Why do you think is something that bad?”

“Most of marriages ends in divorce, most of relationships end with hate and pain, love is just some capitalist bullshit. Some… shitty creation to control us.”

“But how can be bad something that feels so good?”

“Drugs feel good and end bad, Jae. A lot of things that feels good are bad”

“I don’t know, Brian. I think you’re losing the point. Feeling good, flirt, kissing, feeling the butterflies on your stomach…”

“Just chemical reactions, Jae. Again. Just something your body creates. The rest is just a social construct, something that changes with time. The only real thing in this love lie is what we feel inside, and that’s temporal, ends at some point. The rest is just getting use to share some things with a certain person”

“C’mon, how can you know that? Didn’t you ever feel those emotions everytime you touch a person? Everytime you look at them?”

“Nope”. And he knows he’s lying again. Because he, indeed, feels those emotions. And felt them since the first time. But he’s not going to fall in that trap. 

“I can’t believe you”.

“The only thing love gave me was deception.”

“What if I kiss you now?”

“What?”

“If I kissed you, you probably won’t feel nothing. That’s because you don’t like me, you don’t love me. It won’t be something meaningful for us, because none of us are in love.”

“Because there’s no chemistry between us”

“There is. But friendship chemistry, which is different to love chemistry. My point is, you could kiss anyone, fuck anyone, but in the end, there will be someone special soon or later, and love is what makes that person special.”

“I don’t know, Jae. I can’t see anything special about special persons”

Jae caresses his hand and Brian shivers. And appears again this feelings inside them. Inside, Brian just keeps thinking about Jae’s question. ‘What if I kiss you?’ What would happen? Isn’t something that he wanted to happen since highschool? Both kissing, hugging, living together. No. That’s just some weird fantasy.

He expulses a deep sigh, deleting those thoughts of his mind. Jae is his best friend, his brother, he would never dared to make a move as dangerous as this. Kissing him. Because 

Brian doesn’t believe in love and Jae does. He would only hurt him, and he can’t do that. Instead, he just pats his head, smiling softly.

“You’re my only special person, Jae. The only one I need”

“That’s because you didn’t found a special someone yet”

“No. That’s because you’re so special is hard for anyone to be as good as you”

Now is Jae the one who shivers, melting inside, remaining neutral outside. Because deep down him, he knows he won’t find anyone as special as Brian either. Brian Kang always made things harder for Jae. Everytime he started dating or seeing someone, he thought about how would it be if that someone was Brian. Regrets being too much to handle and finally ending all his relationships. But this time, with Mark, this time will be different. Because now he knows Brian better, because now he just moved on. Because any feelings he had for his best friend are now in the past. ‘Is just chemistry’ he repeats to himself, smiling as Brian patted his hair. ‘We’ve been together for so long, is normal to have some feelings for him.’ ‘Is just chemistry, and he doesn’t believe in love.’

And Jae suddenly wishes Brian believed in love, Brian could understand what is happening inside him. How much pain he had to deal with when he left to Toronto, every birthday without him. Yes, there were SungJin, Wonpil and Dowoon, but nothing like Brian making him laugh or forget about every single failure in his life. 

No, there wasn’t anything like him and Brian had and now have again. And he won’t ever lose this feelings, this chemistry, this bond. No matter what or who, Jae park won’t ever forget who he is, who is Brian Kang, Who are his friends, where is his place in this world.

Is just a little bit Chemistry. But is better than nothing.


	3. Disperse Atoms.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't get too close. It's dark inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! here the new brilliant chapter of this mini fic! Hope u enjoy this.
> 
> Yell at me at: @jeahyungsmole on twitter and @jeahyungsmole on cc

**25/11/2017 — Buenos Aires, Argentina.**

Flashlights make his head hurt, and he honestly hates this suit, is uncomfortable and way too much expensive than he ever could allow. But Mark insisted this place was important, this moment was important, and he wanted Jae to be there with him.

Almost a month after knowing each other, they are officially a thing. Sometimes boyfriends, sometimes fuck friends, sometimes just friends, it depends on the person who asks. Jae stares at the people outside the car, fangirls screaming, bodyguards protecting them, paparazzi taking photos, everything looks perfect on Marks world, but now Jae knows everything is fake, artificial. 

As soon as he saws Mark’s mother, he knows he should’ve stayed at home with Brian, SungJin, Wonpil and Dowoon. He misses his friends, but now, hundreds of kilometers separates them. Mark took his hand and smiled and he did too, because he knew it was the proper thing to do at that point. 

Someone asks him what’s happening between Mark and him and bodyguards just interpose. He’s kind of lost, even if he knows the protocol. Is the first time Mark takes him to an important event, because this is like making things official. And Jae feels terrified, because he knows being official with a star like Mark just remarks he’s a nobody, a lucky fan. That’s how he feels.

But he loves Mark, he’s sure of that. He loves being with him, joking with him. He spends more time at his house than in his own apartment, and when things are normal, he’s very happy, because Mark looks like the perfect boyfriend. Attentive, funny, careful… Jae can’t imagine a person being as perfect as Mark Tuan. 

He looks brilliant in that suit, and red hair makes him look hot. Jae wants to go back home, where they can fuck and forget manners. But now is he the one who is in Mark’s world, in his enemy field. So he smiles again, getting close to some people, speaking just when someone directs to him, not wanting to look as what he, indeed, is. A poor boy who works on a music store and normally buys pizza on Walmart. But he feels everyone there knows. And he feels insecure, voice trembling and not eating or drinking anything.

At some point in the night, Mark forgot he’s even there and he was alone between all those people, feeling as shit as ever. He understands Mark wants to promote himself, but, what’s even the point of Jae being there? He thought he wanted to make things official, but he doesn’t look like the super star boyfriend. He just looks lost and scared. 

Finally he takes his phone and calls Brian, because he needs Brian right now. He needs someone telling him everything is going to be okay. 

“Hey, lost boy.”

“Hey, you”

“Where are you? I didn’t saw you in… weeks?”

“Yeah, Mark took me to Buenos Aires to a premiere”

“Shouldn’t you sound… happier? I mean, I heard Buenos Aires is a nice place”

“Just a little bit bored, that’s all”

“You don’t sound a little bit bored at all, Jae. Is everything okay?”

“I just feel this isn’t my place, you know? With all this rich people and paparazzi and bodyguards… And Mark is busy and I don’t think he could understand?”

“Well, he’s supposed to understand, Jae. You’re not a part of his world and he never cared shit about yours.”

“I just miss you”

“Yeah, I miss you too, and SungJin and Wonpil wanna meet your shitty boyfriend. And do this four persons date”

“I don’t think Mark would want to do that, but I’ll ask”

“You don’t have to _ask_ anything, Jae. He’s your boyfriend and we’re your friends, I don’t know, we’re a part of your life too”

“I know, I know… I’m sorry”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes. I will be. This is just a timely situation.”

“Cool. I gotta go. Dowoon wants me to go with him somewhere”

“Fine. I’ll call you”

“Nice. And Jae. Don’t worry, is a hard world but if you really love Mark, all those things will worth”

“Sure. Thank you”

Brian hang the phone and Jae stared to the horizon searching for answers. Mark was the perfect boyfriend, but he’s not there with him and suddenly he wonders if Mark really wants him to be a part of his world. This world. 

Suddenly someone hugs him from the back and he smiles, recognizing Mark’s perfume. Turns and stares at him, finally. 

“Hey, I thought you forgot about me”

“Sorry, babe. I was busy, but I’m here now”

“Yeah, you are. What was more important than your boyfriend?”

“Mum met a girl who’s father is the owner of a producer. And she’s single, so”

“I thought we were here to make us official, Mark. You can’t be serious”

“Babe, we will talk about this later, okay? But I need you to support me in this. Listen, is a big opportunity”

“Yes, okay, but…”

“I gotta go. Have fun”

Mark gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then went back with his mum and the girl, and Jae knew he won’t be back ‘til the party was over, so he found a quiet place to stay.

“Hey”

It was an unknown voice, and he turned just waiting to find a reporter. But no, it was a guy, a young one. He looked worried and Jae wondered about his aspect. Maybe he looks to serious? Sad?

“Hi.”

“You’re Mark’s new boyfriend, right?”

“It depends. Who are you?”

“One of his ex’s”

Amazing. Jae wasn’t in the mood for this. He doesn’t want to deal with anyone speaking about him not being part of Mark’s world. He can’t deal with that.

“Oh. Nice.”

“I’m not looking for a fight, I just… you seemed lonely here, so I thought you may want to talk or something”

“Oh. Yes. Sure. I just… Who are you?”

“My name is Jackson. I’m a model.”

“Yeah, I thought he mentioned you once”

“You’re going to learn how to be a better liar, Jae.”

Jae blushed after being caught. He didn’t wanted Jackson to think Mark doesn’t care. But, being honest, Mark and he never talked about the other’s life deeply. _‘We’re part of your life too’_. Was he a part of Mark’s life?

“I’m sorry. I guess I didn’t had time to learn”

“It’s okay. So. Why are you here?”

“Mark said it was like… making it official. But guess what. He lied. I guess he didn’t want to be lonely if things weren’t going as he expected”

“Seems like you’re starting to know real Mark”

“I’m starting to know real life”

“Hey, this isn’t real life. No when you were born rich and famous. Real life is taking everything and life for everything. Real life is working your ass off to get something you want, not having everything offered on a silver plate”

“I have a friend who always told me he didn’t believe in love, he told me that was only chemistry, something temporal, you know. And I’m wondering if Mark is already tired of me”.

“Mark never gets tired of anyone. People gets tired of him. And is comprehensible. Imagine being his shadow for years and then not having even the change of being his boyfriend in front of all this people. No. For Mark, work is the most important thing.”

“I just… I love him”

“And I’m sure he loves you too, Jae. Maybe you should talk to him”

“Yeah. I think I should talk to him”

“Don’t let yourself be impressed by this world, as I’ve told you, this isn’t real life. None of this persons had experience real life before, you’re the only real thing on this place, and that scares them.”

“I couldn’t scare a fly”

“Use it on your benefit.”

“What?”

“Being real.”

And then, Jae wondered what the meaning of being real was. Is he real? Is he being real? Is Mark being real with him? Who was the real Mark? The one who kisses him softly and whispers _I love you_ in the morning or the one there, flirting with a rich girl?

**27/11/2017 — Los Angeles, California**

Mark’s place was huge and impersonal, that’s the first thing Jae noticed first time he walked through the door. A centric open loft on some building’s penthouse. Everything was modern and expensive, but it always made Jae feel like it was empty, like it was something temporal, like Mark never really liked that place.

“Hey, babe. Still mad?” Mark took him by the waist and placed some kisses on his jaw. Jae smiled softly, trying to convince him (or himself) that everything was okay.

“I’m not mad. Just sad. Mark, I can’t be your secret forever, you know. I’m okay with no publicity, but not with you flirting and kissing girls on my face. I have feelings too, you know”

“Jae, it’s all fake propaganda. It doesn’t mean anything for me”

“It does for me. Because it means a lot. It means you don’t care about me or this girls, it means you’re fake, you’re as artificial as all the people reunited on that party”

“Well, babe, that’s my people. Fake and artificial”

“But you don’t have to be like them. I’m not fake or artificial, and I wanna know us, our thing, isn’t fake or artificial either”

Mark kissed him, and caught him off guard. Bubbles in his stomach and blood running through his veins. That feeling was unforgettable, wasn’t just chemistry. He loved Mark, he loves the way he caress his back and the way he entangle his arms around him. 

“This seems fake to you, Jae Park?”

“Not at all.” He said, smiling, this time with confidence.

“I won’t take more girls, I promise. But you have to trust me and trust this, Jae. You’re part of my life now. And I am part of yours”

“Speaking of that, my friends wanted to meet you”

“Your friends?”

“Yeah, Bri, Sungjin, his boyfriend and Dowoon”

“Do you think is a good idea?”

“Why not?”

“Well… I can’t just hang out like normal people in the streets.”

“We can always invite them here? In your place?”

“Sure, just tell me when and I’ll be here”

Then, they kissed again and Jae made something to eat. After that, they both sat on the couch to see some TV movie. It was normal, and Jae liked that feeling. His head on Mark’s lap, both in silence, the older caressing his hair softly, quiet mood. He closed his eyes for a second, wanting to memorize everything, since the room to his own feelings. Yes, he has to trust more in his relationship. That’s how it works. Confidence and being assertive. This time won’t be anything that makes him feel bad. 

Meanwhile, Brian was at home, checking his phone while SungJin and Wonpil were making dinner. Dowoon was with him, watching TV. He misses Jae on this meetings. He misses Jae. He’s barely seeing him this weeks, and seems like he’s doing well with his boyfriend. That Mark guy. Brian couldn’t help getting pissed everytime someone mentions Mark Tuan, so, with love, is the new Taboo theme on the apartment.

SungJin sits on his side, staring at him, and Brian groans because he knows what is coming.

“Why don’t you call him?”

“Told you ten times. He’s with Mark now”

“Yeah, he’s with Mark always, but I am with Wonpil here. Together. With the rest”

“Is different, Wonpil was our friend before you two started dating. Mark is a stranger”

“Well, he won’t be if you, surprise, get to know him, Kang Younghyun”

“Don’t call me Younghyun. And I don’t wanna know him, Sungjin. This is temporal, okay? Jae will come back, just give him some time to get used to this situation”

“He won’t if you don’t stop being a child and tell him you accept his relationship with Mark”

“He knows I do”

“No, he knows you don’t, and he knows you’re just saying you do because you don’t wanna hurt his feelings. He’s not stupid, Brian. And I can’t understand why you hate Mark so much. Is just a normal boy”

“No, Sungjin, he’s not. He’s a petty boy who lives in a penthouse and never heard about Walmart. He hates frozen pizza and doesn’t understands that is not necessary having a handmaid. He has his own world, and will end hurting Jae.”

“And why don’t you tell Jae this? Why, Brian?”

“Because is his life, I made my choices before, so he has to make his too.”

Brian stood up from the sofa and went to his room, unable to continue talking or thinking clearly, because it hurts so much. Jae said he would never let his friends, he would never let him, but now it’s been a month and he barely sees him. Jae was his constant. That huge part of his life. And now he wasn’t there anymore. And the truth was, Brian was scared, because, what if the relationship works? What if Jae ends with Mark forever? What would happen to them?

_‘Love is only chemistry, a body reaction, a temporal release of some hormones. The rest is part of a social construct. Just a lie TV told us, making us buy flowers and presents”_

Brian bites his lower lip, thinking about Jae and love. He should be happy for him. Jae finally found his other side, a celebrity who could help him more than Brian, a person who can share with him things Brian couldn’t share.

Fuck love. Fuck Jae. Fuck Mark. It’s not his fault Jae can’t deal with two different worlds, it’s not his fault Jae thinks he needs to find his other half. Brian doesn’t even believe love exist. He just wants his friends, some casual lovers and beer. 

**30/11/2017 Los Angeles, California**

Mark is late. That’s what he wants to think. That his boyfriend is just late. That he actually remembers both have a date on a cute coffee shop. But deep down him, Jae Park knows Mark forgot that date. Mark always forgot things. But this was important. It’s been one month since they kissed for the first time. And Jae wasn’t the kind of persons who gives importance to this things, but Mark was the one who purposed this date, surprising him.

So, he went back to the apartment a few hours later, tired of waiting. And when he arrived home, he found Mark was actually giving a party with some friends. Some expensive friends, of course. Jae didn’t tell anything, he just went to the room and started to pack his things, tired. 

Forgetting shit was one thing, but actually lying to get rid of him was humiliating and he’s not there to be humiliated by anybody. Jae Park is not a toy in anyone’s life. He just went down the stairs, ready to go back home. 

Mark saw him, and ran, trying to stop him. But Jae didn’t want to talk to him. Maybe love is pain, but not this kind. Not like this. 

“Where are you going? Babe?”

“Why didn’t you told me, Mark, I know when I’m not welcome on a place”

“Don’t be silly, this… fuck. I forgot about our date.”

“No, you didn’t. Don’t talk to me as if I was stupid, Mark Tuan. Because I am not. You didn’t wanted me here because this cute rich girl is here and you promised it won’t be more rich girls. So, you know what? Take all the fucking chances, I’m taking mine now”

“Jae, please…”

He just went. Deception running through his veins, telling him he shouldn’t have trusted Mark, trust what they had. It’s only been one month and it’s like this. Lying, probably cheating. No. He can’t stand it. He needs to go.

Jae exhaled a deep breath before entering his own place. It’s been almost a month since the last time he’s been there, but at the moment he cross the door, everything feels so domestic and familiar he’s about to cry. But contains himself, searching for Brian.

His best friend is on the couch, reading some book. Brian stares at him like he’s watching a ghost and stands up, getting close. Jae looks thinner than he actually is, and tired. And he’s about to say ‘you were right’ when Brian hugged him tightly. And Jae just started crying because he missed this so much. He doesn’t want to be far from Brian again. Not after five years of him being in Toronto. Not after one month of Jae being everywhere, dating a star. Brian is his constant. The only thing that works.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been an asshole. And I missed you. I don’t care who you date. I can learn to get along with Mark”

“Well, you won’t have to. We kinda broke up. That’s why I’m here.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“Because I don’t belong to his world, Brian. And I thought love could repair some way that. But no. I just… I love him, I love the Mark he is when we’re together, being normal people. But I don’t even think that’s the real Mark.”

It hurts. Jae saying he loves Mark was hurtful for Brain, but he contained his feelings, knowing Jae needs his friend, not the confused asshole. 

“I’m… sorry? I guess.”

“No. You’re not. You hated Mark.”

“Yes, but still, he was your boyfriend and I am your best friend, so is my job to accept anyone you date”

“Guess there’s not ‘special someone’. You were right. Love is bullshit.”

Brian didn’t know why, but him being right about that made him feel like shit again. He couldn’t stop thinking about Jae, not in a friendly way, of course. He liked Jae. He missed Jae. 

“Guess I am always right”

“Asshole”

“Hey, what’s with the dirty mouth, didn’t Mark teach you manners?”

“Shut up. I hate you”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.”

“That’s better. Now say ‘Brian, you still the hottest dude I’ve ever met’”

“Not in a thousand years”

“Hey!”

Brian started tickling him, and Jae started to laugh openly, almost running out of air. He lay down on the sofa, letting Brian on top of him, tickling more, soft touches on his sides. And Jae forgets about Mark or his party, he just tried to get rid of Brian while laughing. But suddenly, Brian stops. And they stare at each other in silence. And there was this chemistry again, sparks jumping between them. Hot blood running through his veins, heart skipping beats, breathing heavily. 

“Yes.”

“What?”

“You still the hottest dude I’ve ever met”


End file.
